Hi, Welcome to ME!
By, 'Anna DeVine
Okay, someone be ask me what energy was so now I be here to answer question by explaining what energy is to Me!
Energy is an abstract concept invented by physical scientists in the nineteenth century to describe quantitatively a wide variety of natural phenomena
Now do you understand?
Maybe if yer read stoopid Poem?
Will that Help yer out?
Stoopid Poem: The Mysterious Everything
What is this stuff?
Whatever happens is caused by it
Whatever is, is made up of it
You need it
You are made of it
Everything needs it
Everything is it
It is everything!
You need it to run, to walk, to sit,
to think,
to sleep, 'perchance to dream'
To run from me,
and maybe scream? (hehe)
You use it constantly, (That all the time)
every moment
(See? Tol’ yer)
awake or asleep
Asleep or Awake
(Wake up yer cheeky bugger)
Yer can't get mad without it
Yer can't get glad without it
Yer can't get sad without it
An’ Yer sure can't get the doubt in or out without it
You can't get anything without it
damn
It makes the wind blow, rain fall, lightnin’ Flash and thunder call
It "fuels and intensifies" volcanoes and earthquakes
(How does it do that? I not know)
It drives tidal waves, typhoons, and tornadoes (I wannA drive a tornado, man that WOULD be cool huh?)
It powers the universe –What the…?
It powers bacteria. – Both?
Wow!
(oh my, energy get be so busy huh?)
It is the Mysterious Everything.
*Gasps*
Let's call it ME for short.
So Me is now we and we is now me from now on…(Huh?)
Most of the ME that we Earth dwellers use, it be come from the dumb ass sun
Oh my, not only sun so very hot and stoopid, it also be very eager to make me hostile and start heating things up that it rushes ME along through the 93 million miles of space vacuum between us and the sun in eight and one half minutes
Damn, that IS fookin’ fast huh?
It IS so fast and have such busy plans that it even HAS time to heat the oceans, the land, and the air.
Let’s see…
What else?
Oh!
it makes wind and ocean currents
that’s cool huh?
tRUST ME, IT IS!
It evaporates water, forms clouds, and drops rain and snow all over place.
(except fer the drops I, not ME misplaced)
(Oh, Yeah, I fergot say when I be talking inside parenthesis last time that I love rain and snow both so much because they not upset me like the hot, stoopid sun do)
Plants that are planted, transplanted and I guess implanted as well into the land or the water
well guess what?
they absorb the ME from the sun then use it along with water and carbon dioxide to make more of themselves
Whoa!
That some amazing me huh?
They store the ME in molecules they make with the help of ME!
Wtf?
The Mysterious Everything keeps moving and changing.
(Me Sure got lot to do Me never, ever rests)
Animals eat the plants (The plants protest but no one hears them except fer Me)
They use the Mysterious Everything that was stored in the plant molecules to breathe, move, stay warm, and to make more of themselves by combining the plant material with water
Then other animals eat the animals that ate the plants
Again the ME is used and changed
Oh my
Look how they be passin’ me around
that weird, huh?
But it not cheapen me
No way
The Mysterious Everything keeps moving and changing
Oh, and also rearranging
It exists in many forms. (ooh…)
Over and over again it is transformed from one form to another. (Ahh…)
As far as anyone knows it never
goes away
gets less
or gets more
Me be sound like riddle huh?
The total amount always stays the same.
Though in the great scheme of things the total amount available to keep making things happen is always getting less
Uh-oh
If we didn't get a new blast of it everyday from the hot stoopid sun, we would all run down and die in an unpleasantly short cold time (so?)
Glucose is an S.A.T. word, but it also type of sugar a simple carbohydrate that is the fuel that powers the cells of plants and animals
(That is what Calories are fer , oops, sorry, I fergot and accidentally focused fer a sec)
Okay, Now think about all of whatever the hell I just said because it be time the to question a few things about Me
How can it stay the same but become less?
And
What the fuck we got go on here?
Okay, calm down
be patient
all will eventually be revealed.
*Gong resounds*
So…
Have yer guessed it by now?
Do yer even remember the inquiry?
Do yer know?
What this stuff is?
That's right…
what I am calling the Mysterious Everything
ME for short; is what scientists and engineers (Someone say me they engineer one time, I can’t remember who though)
rather boringly call…
(Drum roll please…)
.
.
.
.
ENERGY
See what up is I not want to use that common old everyday word To tell yer about energy
I wanted to use Me!
Because that word energy yer know juss might be cause someone, uh...not you of course, (okay, yeah, it’s You)
but someone to think...
‘...Oh my, what a fookin’ boring science subject this cool girl be go on about...'
I don't like science
I only like play with dolls
I think I juss stop thinking and turn me brain off now’
(Well sorry but yer can’t do that because me makes yer think, ha-ha)
Oh, by the way, yer lucked out too
thanks to askin’ about me
Had it not been fer me
I would be kickin’ yer ass right now fer say yer rather play dolls than learn about me
Yeah, but hey....
Do yer still wanna a lil’ demonstration of Me that involves me beatin’ yer ass?
Oh, come on there be so much potential in doin' that fer yer to learn about Me because yer know that I be given yer a questionnaire afterwards
Hmm… maybe somethin’ look like this?
q. how did Me moved my fist into yer eye?
A. How did I not see that coming?
Me And I make no apologies.
Me be so many things to make busy like that because Energy is too wondrous and mind boggling a subject to have just one name
Mysterious Everything is a good name for the stuff
The Everything part is good because everything that happens requires it
There are no "happenings’ without it
And now
(Well, not like right now)
thanks to Albert Einstein (Oh yes, I definitely be say thanks Albert Einstein because he very cool Pisces and he be hella smart too.)
and other scientists, (I not able vouch fer ‘other scientists’)
we know that matter and energy are interchangeable.
Aye, it's the old E=mc² equation.
Thank yer Albert Einstein
I think yer cool fer be make up that equation like yer did from yer fishy thoughts.
Champion!
Matter can be converted to energy and the other way too.
(Yes; that would be energy to Matter)
Two different sides of the same coin, you might say.
(Say it)
Therefore, energy really does appear to be everything
The Mysterious part fits too
I and some other people know some things about energy
heck of a lot more than we used to know
We can measure it
(but that be get so boring, I try once, I not recommend doing this tape measurer like I did either because it be so very, very hard to do with ME)
We can describe how it behaves too and predict what it will do. (Ooh, that be so fun to do with Me)
We can use it in countless ways
Hey now listen, don’ be go try countin' the ways neither because they countless
All in all though, the most we have ever really learned to do is use mathematical formulas to describe its behavior
Oh my, as far as mathematical equations go I not want go there today with yer because It be get very deep and complex
but if yer wanna we can
I like words so much better than stoopid numbers though
don’t you?
The ultimate nature and origin of energy, at least so far, is for theologians and philosophers and Poets to explore and debate.
Scientists and engineers (Hey, I know an engineer, someone say me one time he engineer, I not remember fer sure at moment what his name be who say that to me though)
Anyway, scientists and engineers say that they can only learn how it behaves and use that knowledge so far
Scientists use the knowledge to study and explain our world and the universe.
Engineers use this equation here…
(o2 - o2 + l = olo)
fer recognition of a smile
but they also use other things too because
well yer know, They be people juss like us
itjuss so happens that they be the type of people who use knowledge of how energy behaves to make the machines and devices that make up our modern technological world
Oh my, That pretty cool of them to do that huh?
Hey, If you like mysteries, lemme tell yer,
Oh yes, fer sure yer'll be lovin’ some energy.
Listen to what Richard Feynman said…
(whoever hell he is, it not matter except to maybe Richard Feynman)…
‘It is important to realize that in physics today, we have no knowledge of what energy is.
We do not have a picture that energy comes in little blobs of a definite amount’
Yeah, whatever Richard, yer shut yer mouth when yer talkin’ to Me…
Ooh…He be tryin’ sound all smart usin’ S.A.T. words (So, big deal, I know some S.A.T. word too) juss to tell us he have no knowledge of what energy is huh?
Hey, I got idea, let’s juss call energy the Mysterious Everything
And sometimes, yer know, just so yer can communicate with the less imaginative, or those who haven't had this discussion with ME about Me (sadder are they)
we'll call it Energy - and Matter.
Any more questions?
